The Meaning of Life

When I was a child, I was fortunate enough to have grandparents who only lived across town. A short thirty-minute drive that seemed to take forever when we were going to Grandma's house and I was still young. Even into my teen years, the drive seemed endless because I was so eager to see them.

My grandmother was wonderful. She took time for me when my mother didn't. She taught me wonderful skills that my mother didn't have the time to teach me. At my grandmother's side, I learned to cook, to make my own clothes, to crochet, and to do embroidery. We made aprons, and cookies, and pot roast and crocheted doll blankets. We snapped beans, preserved pears and hung clothes on a clothesline. I listened attentively when she talked about her childhood.

My Grandma was never too busy for me. Grandma filled a void in my life I didn’t even know I had.

Now, I am a grandma and I remember all the wonderful times I had with my own grandmother. More importantly, I want that same relationship with my own grandchildren. I also know the best way to honor my grandma’s memory is to pay it forward.

Today's grandparents are different. My grandmother was a familial goddess who never worked outside of her home. The only job she ever had is she would occasionally take in ironing for others when she needed a little extra cash. She led a very quiet very domestic life.

My life is completely different from the life my grandmother had. I have worked since I graduated from high school, went back to college in my forties, survived a divorce, and finally became a grandma at the age of 51.

I read a quote, from a source that I cannot remember, that said (paraphrased), the purpose of life is to live long enough to be a grandparent. Truer words were never spoken.

My son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter live about fifteen minutes away from me, so I have an opportunity to spend one on one time with my little granddaughter,

One of the first things I noticed is that parents today are so much better informed about children and child-rearing than I was. My tactics were very much trial and error. Another thing I realized is that I notice my granddaughter. I pay close attention to what she is saying and what she is doing. I watch her development like I never watched my own children develop.

I wasn’t there to see her first step, but I did hear her speak her first full sentence. “Mommy gave me cheese.” My life as a grandmother has been marked by watching her reach new milestones in her life. Crawling was first, then walking, then running. I watched her graduate from a crib to a “big girl” bed. I have listened as she has moved from uttering single syllable words to two syllable words to short sentences to longer sentences.

She is nearly two and we are waiting for the day she can jump, successfully, with both feet leaving the ground at the same time.

Right now, I am a strong presence in her life. When her Mom or Dad tells her that “Grammie is coming to see you,” she becomes so very excited. She runs and squeals and giggles with delight. There are apartments near her home that resemble my apartments and every time she sees them she asks, “Meme’s house?” She will point to the telephone and say “Meme,” so that her Mom will call me and tell me, “Someone wants to talk to you,” and then she gives the phone to my granddaughter and she jabbers away for two or three minutes, telling me all kinds of wonderful things that only she and I understand.

How did I reach that point with her? This didn’t happen overnight, but is a relationship that has built over time.

*I volunteer to babysit so that Mommy and Daddy can go on a date every couple of weeks.
*I visit fairly often, rarely going more than a week without seeing her.
*I help her to eat, by feeding her when she was younger and by assisting her with learning to use utensils now, and drink out of a “big girl” cup.
*I play with her, allowing her to invent the game she wants to play. I help her to dress her dolls.
*I toss a ball to her; I used to roll a ball to her which she rolled back to me.
*We have talked on the phone between visits for a long time.

I am much more patient with her than her parents are, because I have time to help her, time her busy parents cannot spare. The best thing about being a grandmother is when she hugs me and kisses me when I arrive and again before I depart. She is my shining star, the shining star in Meme’s life.

Miss M Visits Again

Miss M makes it very difficult to snap picutres because she is so active and energetic, she is rarely still. I managed to get these two after trying for about an hour.




My little darling is 30.5 inches tall and 24 pounds. AND she is only 15 months old.

The really fun thing is watching her learn ASL. She knows please, thank you, milk, more, done, mommy, and daddy. Next on her new word list is dog, cat and cow. She can't talk yet... well she says a few words, so teaching her sign is fun. She will be able to communicate far better when she hits the terrible twos, which is made even more terrible because the little ones have such a hard time communicating and they spend so much time very frustrated because adults, who are supposed to be smarter than the children, cannot understand the child. ASL will enable Miss M to communicate more effectively.

Miss M at Grammie's House

My granddaughter is now 15 months old and walking everywhere. She is developing quite a personality, too, which includes a little sense of humor and a little bit of a temper. The photo is an example of her sense of humor, as she is running away from me with the desk calendar she purloined when my attention was diverted for about a tenth of a second.

I am working with her to teach her to sign so she can better communicate with everyone. She already knows "Milk" and "More." We are working on "Please" and "Thank you." She is a 100 terabyte sponge right now and it is interesting to see how she is learning new things, every day. I don't remember paying this much attention to my own children, probably because I was much too busy trying to keep a household running and taking care of a husband. I don't know if this is typical of grandmothers, but I am very patient with this little one like I wasn't with my children. I spent nearly an hour helping her drink water from a "Big Girl" cup. In retrospect, I am surprised my own children reached adulthood with all the things I didn't do, or didn't know to do.

The second photo is Miss M knocking on my bedroom door, where I put the cat to save them both from each other. Miss M pulls the cat's fur and the cat swats at Miss M. Still, she loves kitties and one of her favorite words is "Meow." Every time she sees an animal that is cat-like, a mouse, for instance, she says "Meow." When she sees an animal that is dog-like, a cow, for instance, she says "Arf." In her baby mind, all animals fall into one category or the other.

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A New Grandmother

I am a new grandmother, with only one granddaughter. My little granddaughter is just over a year old and she is walking, trying to talk, and such a delight. When I hold her, I feel such an overwhelming sense of love.

This is a picture of my Miss M and my son at Miss M's birthday party luau.

I work with Miss Janine at Precious and Pleasant, a delightful online boutique that has clothes for Mothers and/or Grandmothers and their little ones. Visit www.preciousandpleasant.com